I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
