I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
