i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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