I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize