ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
