Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
