I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize