I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
