even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize