She's JV to your varsity
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
