That's intense
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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