Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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