dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
