i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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