just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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