I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
