I'm drive I can fine osifer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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