i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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