So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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