I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
