So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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