I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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