Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
