she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
