my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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