Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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