Just mADE A PArabola og urine
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
