Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
