its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
