Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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