I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
