I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize