you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
