i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
