hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize