hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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