let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
