so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
