girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
