Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
