Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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