I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize