i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
