So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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