Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
