She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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