I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
