fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize