I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize