I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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