Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
