You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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