It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
