Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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