Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
