Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Buhtt sex?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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