haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
