I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
