This girl is more easily done than said...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't deserve a penis
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
